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February 7, 2009
Exclusive: Some Frank Talk from Representative Barney
There is only one occupation that lends itself to constant idiotic, nonsensical diatribes. That career choice, of course, is that of “politician.” The examples, like Pamela Anderson’s marriages, are too numerous to count. Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez once called President Bush “the devil” while addressing the United Nations General Assembly. Iranian president/madman Mahmoud Ahmadinejad threatened to “wipe Israel off the map.” Nancy Pelosi told the media that “500 million Americans would lose their jobs” if the economic stimulus package was not approved. Someone really needs to inform Madame Speaker that the current population of the United States is only 305 million.
Maybe BOTOX Nancy is also counting the citizens in President Obama’s “57 states?”
While many of the world’s politicians are suffering from foot-in-mouth disease, the sickness has become a pandemic here in America. Take the esteemed Democrat congressman from Massachusetts, Barney Frank, for example. In the past few months, Frank has needed so many verbal “do-overs,” that his breath must smell like shoe leather.
Now the country is in the midst of an economic meltdown of Ed McMahon proportions, spurred on by either government regulation, or lack thereof. Americans are losing their homes and finding pink slips in their work inboxes. Rumor has it that even Hugh Hefner has had to make cutbacks. Apparently, he is now down to only two girlfriends. Oh, the horror! Needless to say, the “little people” are hot happy with their elected officials. So, many Americans were probably perplexed when reading Frank’s quotes in this article from Politico:
Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) has this very blunt message for bankers:
“People really hate you, and they’re starting to hate us because we’re hanging out with you. And you have to help us deal with that.”
The financial institutions that need congressional help “need to avoid being stupid,” Frank told reporters Tuesday during a briefing on his agenda as chairman of the House Financial Services Committee.
Is it not ironic for someone like Barney Frank to tell others that they need to “avoid being stupid?”
People hate bankers, Barney? And now people are “starting” to hate politicians? Did Massachusetts relocate to Saturn without telling anyone? No one on earth likes politicians, Congressman. In fact, people hate politicians – especially politicians who are involved in one or more of the following:
People hate politicians who fix parking tickets for their gigolo friends. Just because someone happens to be close personal friends with a member of Congress doesn’t give one the right to be a scofflaw. A politico’s pal can bribe, cheat, and steal, but once he or she parks in front of a fire hydrant it’s go time! Now, Lord knows that hiring someone who is a “technician” for the world’s oldest profession helps the economy, but in the grand scheme of things, this doesn’t make much of a dent in the deficit. If a politician hired a cadre of “technicians” the results would improve dramatically, but then there’s a whole ethical can of worms that arises with that solution.
People hate politicians who try to legalize drugs. Again, the purchase of specific “pharmaceuticals” stimulates the economy, but eventually, the proceeds only end up in some Mexican drug kingpin’s coffers, and not the cash registers of a fine, American business. Naturally, when a drug lord spends his money, he is usually trying to purchase a flying limousine and a solid gold house. In effect, they are buying European. The fact that the “munchies” conglomerate receives a temporary boost in the exception rather than the rule. Hippies eventually come down from that high, which is painfully apparent when you look at them. How many fat hippies do you know?
People hate politicians who refuse to restrict protests at soldier’s funerals. As a rule, people like our armed forces personnel and they appreciate their sacrifices. They do not appreciate it when the members of some Looney Tunes “church” show up at a funeral with ignorant taunts and protest signs. When a Beltway Insider refuses to restrict such practices, some people would like to use those same protest signs to beat said politician about the head.
People hate politicians who are responsible for destroying the mortgage industry and hastening a debilitating economic crisis. Everyone is upset with the mess caused by both the mortgage lenders and the politicians who protect them. Everyone is more upset with certain unnamed east coast congressmen who facilitated the collapse, then turned around and decried their mainly innocent cohorts. No one likes to watch the Blame Game, primarily because Family Feud and Wheel of Fortune are much more entertaining . . . and educational. That may change when Mary Landrieu and Kirsten Gillibrand start kissing audience members. Roland Burris? Eh, not so much.
In short, Congressman Frank’s argument is flawed at best, and completely incorrect at worst. There are a lot of people in America who are fed up with bankers and the bigwigs who are running the banking/mortgage industry, but there are many more people who are sick and tired of hypocritical blowhard politicians who offer no solutions to our current problems.
Do you know any politicians like these, Barney? If so, it might be a good idea to run them out of office.
FamilySecurityMatters.org's official satirist, Shawn Goodwin, is a blogger and police detective from Philly. You can visit his blog here.
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