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Health Care - March 2010 Vote

Do you think Congress will pass the current form of the Health Care bill this week?

Yes
No
Not sure

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Senior Intelligence Officials: Attempted Terror Attack "Certain"

The five senior leaders of the U.S. intelligence community told a Senate panel they are "certain" that terrorists will attempt another attack on the United States in the next three to six months.

If true, why do you think the jihadists feel emboldened?

The Obama administration is seen as weak against terrorism.
Its continued backlash against the policies of the former Bush administration.
Not sure.

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June 10, 2008

Exclusive: Life in the Middle Bush Ages

Ben-Peter Terpstra

To the college students of 2058: So, you found my time capsule. Good work! How was life for us in the Middle Bush Ages? Read on.

1. Most liberals ranted about the evils of Iraq. Indeed, one morbidly obese propagandist was a fixture in the American Left's life for many years because he made a career out of appeasing the enemy. In general terms, however, the Moore Policy was a big failure. So, don't thank Malibu if Iraq elects a female Prime Minister.

2. You may pause to ask how "American" America really was. In my era, one Al Gore character flew to my country and Bali, Indonesia, to spread the gospel of "global warming." (Honestly.) And against, this background, thousands of Africans starved to death because of one Eurocentric treaty, to "save the earth." It was the fattest of times (for Hollywood stars); it was the skinniest of times (for Africans).

3. Back in my day, rich liberals built eco-mansions which, of course, were bigger than small farms. But the poor were told to "scale down." Or live in shoeboxes.

4. Eco-friendly residences ate plenty of land up. Moreover, the old green movement, for all its cultic energy and utopian values, appeared to crack under real scrutiny, or Ann Coulter's 4,565 columns. There were even waterless toilets in some pads. At the dawn of the world's Nuclear Renaissance, the blue-collar classes enjoyed laughing at Hollywood stars - and the glass plates they stuck to their roofs.

5. In 2007, the U.S. abortion rate dropped to its lowest point in decades. This is why America's "yoof culture" survived. Without a conservative movement or a Catholic Church there would be no youth. Or culture. More: higher birthrates, encouraged pro-lifers to carry on the fight. Forks, they said, must only be used as eating utensils.

6. If you're prone to sleeping in boring lectures, I have the perfect remedy. Raise the issue of racial profiling! Your classmates will love it. During the Bush years, politically correct liberals continued to embrace long-term racial profiling laws. Were Whites and Asians frisked and fondled? Yes. But some were even prohibited from entering their local colleges. Only temporary "racial profiling" measures at international airports were frowned upon, because some Islamists might feel bad.

7. In the old days, Starbucks, a coffee shop chain, turned men into hopeless wimps. How so? Well, for one thing, men were encouraged to drive effeminate hybrid cars to town, in order to pick up lattes for their chichi superiors. Torture? Hell, yeah. "Could I have a double tall, one pump, macchiato, please? Oh. And one low-fat latte to go."

8. Hollywood English, like Malibu English, was a politically correct language. No wonder California was unable produce a modern Shakespeare. Your predecessors were all on word diets.

9.Liberal politicians loved to tax people. The Democrat (the word rhymes with "autocrat") was a shrewd animal, with a penchant for aborting weaker species, and taxing survivors. The Church of Martini Marxism was a cancer on America's pancreas.

10. In my lifetime, France elected a relatively pro-American President. Parisians weren't eating peanut butter and jelly croissants (yet), but they were ordering Big Macs.

11.Outside Malibu, Manhattan, and the other lands, mainly colonized by Obama Democrats, working class families started to question the many ways in which "artists" were promoting America's reputation abroad. Many felt uncomfortable with the Beastie Boys rap lyrics ("Why did Bush knock down the Towers?") and Jennifer Aniston's diplomatic views ("Bush is a f-king idiot").

12.The crusade to "save the planet" was, in part, a red herring, led by Al Gore and third world dictatorships to cut down America's economy. But there were some winners. Artists were able to sell their bodies at Live Earth concerts.

13. Along with Red Korea, Iraq was one of the few nations not subject to the Legal Left's green standards. Interestingly, soldiers did find dangerous chemicals in Saddam's regime, but they were mocked on the grounds that "there were no weapons of mass destruction" in Iraq. (Side note to pupils: Washington was meant to wait until chemicals were planted in the regime's "special rockets" before questioning Saddam's character references. Or, until Wisconsin was a hole in the ground.)

14. In post-9/11 America, liberals believed that the war against DDT was the real battleground. "Bush lied, organic apple farmers cried." Forget skinny Africans.

16. The Left, to be sure, has a colorful history. They turned their eyes away from Stalin's gulags. They ignored Mao's manmade famines. And they even pretended that there were no fab homosexual poets in Red Castro's jails. And yet, they found an enemy in Specialist Lynddie England, the American. Her crime? Apparently, Lynddie (AKA Leash Girl) used her Iraqi prisoners to make nude pyramids.

15. So, was Specialist England really as diabolical as Saddam Hussein? Julie Burchill's piece, published in the Times (London), May 22, 2004, is worth quoting at some length:

Still it was with some surprise that I found myself reacting to THAT photograph - Specialist Lynddie England, aged 21 looking almost wistfully at a naked man on a leash, the end of which she just happened to be holding - with the following thought: "Gosh, what a change to see a WOMAN treating a MAN like a dog in a Muslim country, rather than the other way around!"

[...]

And if anybody still believes that, because of Lynndie England and her friends, women should not have rights, the working class need to be kept firmly in their place, and the Western way of life is a total lie, there are always 22 Muslim theocracies where they could go and live, where the lack of decadent old choice and free will would suit them fine."

Well, there you have it. The Bush years were good for unborn babies, but bad for misogynistic dictators. And let it be said too that Saddam was no friend of anti-perspirants. Or, carbon credit missiles.

Ben-Peter Terpstra, an Australian-European satirist, is a contributor to a number of websites, from On Line Opinion (Australia's e-journal of social and political debate) to American Thinker. His pieces are also posted on his blog, Pizza Trays and Beer Bottles.

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