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Independence Day Weekend

Americans celebrate our independence with annual traditions.

Based on the current state of our country, which item best represents what you will be doing this holiday weekend?

Modernize my home to be energy efficient according to O’s standards
Lowering the asking price on the sale of my home. AGAIN
Writing another letter to my Congressional Rep – that I know they won’t read. AGAIN
Tuning out ANY coverage of Michael Jackson
Scheduling any potential surgeries I think I may need
Updating my family’s passports
Using Hamburger Helper for my July 4th BBQ
Going to warehouse store to buy normal incandescent light bulbs – in bulk
Tuning out ANY coverage of “the one”

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Four Radical Chinese Muslims Transferred to Bermuda

Four Chinese Uighers (radical Chinese Muslims) were recently transferred to Bermuda. Do you think it's a good idea to release Gitmo detainees to idyllic vacation retreats?

Yes
No
Not Sure

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June 11, 2008

Exclusive: Character Is Measured by How We Handle Winning and Losing

Gabriel Garnica, Esq.

All of the motivational speeches by everyone from George Patton to Vince Lombardi and anyone in between aside, the truth is that, while winning is fantastic and something we all want to do as often as possible, losing is something we will all do at one time or another in our lives. While we can do our best to maximize victory and minimize defeat, how we handle each may well the most important measure of who we are as people.

Passionately and Proactively Seek Victory

We each have a responsibility, a moral duty, to seek success and victory in everything we do. We owe this to those around us, to this world we live in and, above all, to ourselves. It is a crime for anyone to passively let victory and achievement slip through his or her fingers out of apathy, laziness or lack of preparation.

If people always gave their all in an attempt to succeed in their efforts, this world would be a much better place. We could count on people maximizing their efforts and not have to deal with the repercussions caused by those who refuse to contribute as best they can. Unfortunately, we are not living in Utopia, or in any nearby suburb of that fabled place. People often cruise, coast or glide through their daily, professional and societal responsibilities and duties. Many folks simply prefer to let others carry them along, content to wallow in victimization, resentment, rationalization or sheer apathy. Any indirect reference to any political party, of course, is merely accidental.

America's past is teeming with examples of people who refused to be passive, ignored the comforts of apathy and passionately sought achievement, success and the realization of their ambitions and dreams. It is something we are all capable of doing, if we just tap into our true potential. Whether we choose to focus on that great potential or ignore it is often a question of we want to be right on or left out.

Being a Good Winner

There is nothing wrong with pride of achievement, celebration of success or recognition of effort. This is why we have trophies, certificates, degrees and testimonials. It is the realization of the greatest human potential. Increasingly, however, we see more examples of the ugly side of winning. Dancing over a vanquished foe, trash talking in the face of a defeated opponent and rubbing one's success in the faces of those one has beaten only testify to human ignorance, arrogance and a lack of class.

More and more, we see children exhibiting these ugly traits, and parents encouraging them. Somewhere along the line, we have forgotten the power of quiet dignity, simple pride and modest professionalism. Babe Ruth did not dance around the bases after a homerun. Old time receivers did not do mambos in the end zone after catching touchdown passes. Do you know why? Because they were merely doing their job to the best of their ability, and there is no extra praise for that.

Do we heap praise on doctors for saving lives? Do we have parades for teachers who really do care for their students? Should we hand out awards to parents who try to improve the lives of their children? This society has turned the pat on the back into a religion, the celebratory response into an art form and the performance of simple duties into the cure for cancer.

Few things spell class like the victor who modestly credits God, and others, for his or her success. How wonderful it is to see people share their glory with their parents, teammates and mentors. Being a good winner means appreciating the achievement without abusing the honor or sanctifying the effort, along with oneself, in the process. Too many people today have forgotten that simple fact.

The Greatest Measure of All

If being a good winner is the sign of humility and the unselfish recognition that the value of our success is best measured by its impact on others, then what can be said about being a good loser? Simply put, it may be the single most powerful, pervasive and pure measure of one's integrity, class and value as a person.

After all, it is much easier to smile when you win. Anyone can celebrate achieving a goal. Speeches are so much nicer when they aim to point out success and thank supporters.

Show me what you do when your hopes, dreams and aims have been dashed, and I will tell you what kind of person you are. Let me see how you act when your opponent has turned your expectations upside down and I will see just how mature, unselfish and humble you really are.

Allow me to measure how long it takes you to concede to your opponent, to unconditionally throw your support for that opponent in the interest of unity when the outcome is fairly drawn, and I will tell you just how sincere you are. Let us see if you are more interested in leverage, continued limelight or negotiation than unity, honor and dignity.

The classy person acknowledges his opponent's success, honors it and has enough maturity and integrity to move on from that setback, to learn from those mistakes and to become a better person for the experience. One should not have to be prodded, implored or criticized for not knowing when to let go, when to concede defeat or how to bow out gracefully. If one is sincere, true and can spell integrity, these things should come as naturally as breathing. We have all seen great people in all walks of life overcome their disappointment enough to do the classy thing. It is not that difficult when it is more than just about me, myself and I.

The good loser does not blame failure or heartbreak on 15 forces of nature, the cruel twists of fate, unseen conspiracies, unjust procedures, broken systems or dark motives of others. He does not bitterly cling to worn out notions, selfish expectations or tired clichés. He does not pretend to be holding on for the sake of followers or voices that need to be heard. Everyone who has ever lost anything had supporters. If every one of them decided to hold on for the sake of those followers we would still be trying to decide if David defeated Goliath.

Reality dictates that some losers fade into the horizon shortly after their defeat. However, others clearly do not, simply because of who they are, what they are and what they are about. Their sheer force of character, drive, ambition and determination will not permit them to become totally irrelevant, considerably marginal or utterly trivial. Their clout and influence will always guarantee that the voices of their supporters will have some representation. They know it and, above all, we know it, so we would appreciate it if such people who spare us the drill about how they hold on for others when a two-year-old knows that they are holding on for the same reason that a three-year-old refuses to share her toy, with about a comparable amount of maturity involved.

Conclusion

If history proves anything, it is that the greatest winners get all the glory while the most graceful and classy losers are often underrated. History loves to put easy labels and focus only those holding the trophies, wearing the rings and waving the titles. Like legal and illegal immigrants, good and bad losers are often lumped together as simply, and conveniently, "losers."

If truth be told, however, the underlying integrity and maturity of a society, the true measure of a person's genuine worth as a human being and the core value of any subsequent or previous achievement, is often determined not by the words and actions of those with the honors, but by the conduct and expressions of those who fell short while doing their best.

In the end, America achieved its greatness to the tune of "God Bless America" and "America the Beautiful", not "It's My Party and I Can Cry If I Want To." It would benefit everyone, especially some politicians, to remember precisely that.

Gabriel Garnica, Esq., is a college professor who holds a law degree from New York University. Feedback: editorialdirector@familysecuritymatters.org.

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