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June 6, 2009
Exclusive: Taking an Economic Bite Out Of The Big Apple
Last week, President and Mrs. Obama spent a getaway weekend in fabulous New York City. The trip caused a stir among nearly everyone – except those in the mainstream media – because such a trip requires transportation, security, and other necessities that are paid by the American taxpayer. People were clamoring for answers, and more importantly, dollar figures for this “lost weekend.” The Obama administration, capitalizing on their promise to be more open than the previous eeevvviiilll crew, basically told the public to get bent. White House Press Secretary/Apologist Robert Gibbs stated that the president would not reveal the price tag for the excursion, but one article published in the Washington Times estimated the cost of the trip to be nearly $250,000.
“One early estimate (from the New York Post) put the cost at $24,000. Absurdly low. The Daily Mail in London threw out another number – $75,000. Sure, three times as much as the first estimate, but still probably spectacularly low. Remember, joyriding Air Force One around for a few hours over Manhattan a couple months ago cost $250,000, so the cost of the weekend trip was likely not likely that low.”
$250,000: For a weekend trip, on the taxpayers’ dime, consisting of dinner and a lavish Broadway musical.
Not surprisingly, many pundits were appalled at the first couple’s irresponsible spending in the midst of “the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression.” Well, the ones not in the president’s pocket were aghast, anyway. How could Obama justify such an outing after he spent the last four months excoriating CEO’s for flying to lavish junkets in their fancy schmancy corporate jets? The answer is simple: He is the president. He won. That means he doesn’t have to answer to anyone . . . except Michelle “Arms of Stone” Obama . . . and Nancy “Face of Stone” Pelosi . . . and possibly Ted “Liver of Stone” Kennedy. Other than that, he’s his own man.
That is not to say that being your own man will protect you from a scandal. A lot of people were upset when this New York trip-up surfaced, and if they are going to be stuck with the check, they least the president could do is tell them what he ordered.
Thankfully, a super-secret inside source has released the itinerary of the Big Apple excursion, and the results will make you blanch. This is a laundry list of the Obamas’ activities, and it reads like a bad episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Not content to fly into “The Town So Nice They Named It Twice” on a helo, President Obama demanded that Air Force One be used instead. Even more astonishing was his decision to reroute thousands of commercial flights by landing at JFK Airport – whose terminal was altered to read BHO Airport for Obama’s arrival. The landing was perfect, but not as perfect as the experience of buzzing Manhattan again. The first couple reportedly giggled during the flyover, and Michelle was overheard saying, “Ha! Look at ‘em run!”
Normally, a trip to NYC would be a traffic nightmare for the average working class slob. For the most powerful man on Earth? Not so much. The president ordered the Secret Service to clear the road ahead – and every street east and west of their current location – of “undesirables.” It was no surprise that “undesirables” in this case included Republicans and the homeless. No one was going to ruin this romantic getaway with catcalls and pointed questions.
Speaking of driving, while most Americans are getting hosed at the gas pumps, our elected officials travel with impunity. In an incredibly disgraceful example of gas guzzling, the Obamas required room service – from outside their hotel. See, Michelle Obama had a hankering for some great New York pizza, so she sent the entire presidential motorcade all over town to get samples from Ray’s Pizza. When informed that there are many restaurants named “Ray’s,” the first lady told the drivers to go to Ray’s Pizza, then Famous Ray’s Pizza, and then Original Famous Ray’s Pizza for samples.
It is unknown if Mrs. Obama asked for a slice from the non-existent Original Famous Ray’s.
The primary reason for the trip, other than getting away from that stuffy White House, was to attend a Broadway show. While there are many fine choices along the Great White Way, President Obama was nonplussed. So, he demanded that the original cast of “Cats” be located and brought to him for an encore performance. The president exclaimed, “You people told me Cats was now and forever. Now you’re going to prove it. Places, everyone!”
The show was a hit with the first couple, especially considering the first lady’s edits – Rahm Tum Tugger was especially creative – and everyone (in the administration) agreed the weekend was a triumphant success. The price tag issue? Let the bean counters worry about that.
In the grand scheme of things, did the Obamas’ New York trip really shake the country’s economic foundation to the core? Probably not. But it is yet another strike against the president’s judgment, a judgment that has been deemed flawed at best and God-awful at worst. With this little stunt, it would appear that the first couple bit into the Big Apple . . . and found a worm.
FamilySecurityMatters.org's official satirist, Shawn Goodwin, is a blogger and police detective from Philly. You can visit his blog here.
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