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August 6, 2009
Exclusive: Forbidden Foods ‘Speakeasies’: A Business Proposition for the 21 Century?
Editor’s note: Although this is satire, it’s not hard to imagine such a letter actually being sent to the White House in this day and age.
Obama, Rham & Reid
Venture Capitalists, LLC
From: Rita Kramer
Dear Sirs,
I was encouraged by the interest shown at the recent convention of the U.S. Socialist Health Corporation in the proposal my associates and I presented. With the government now in full charge of health care in this country, private insurers having been unable to compete and no longer existing, it is clear that official cost cutting will involve more than simple rationing of medical care and prescription medications. The government will also have to take measures to regulate behaviors which contribute to illnesses such as heart disease, obesity, and diabetes. We can soon expect to see the outlawing of certain foods, much like the outlawing of liquor in the 1920s before the repeal of the Volstead Act.
Our idea is to start with a single location, preferably in New York City, where patrons can give a password that will admit them to an establishment where they can purchase and consume French fries. We will gradually add other illegal items such as BLTs with mayonnaise, cheeseburgers, chocolate fudge brownies, etc. Eventually we should be able to open in other cities – Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Iowa City… The local police can easily be persuaded to look the other way so as to avoid raids that might embarrass the customers, who are sure to include some of our leading public figures in the worlds of government, fashion and entertainment. An understanding could probably be reached with the Nutrition Czar as well.
Eventually we should be able to control not only the manufacture of foods containing saturated fats but the transportation system to bring them across state lines to the point of consumption. We have someone in the office of the Transportation Czar who can help with the details.
This is just an outline, not a final business plan, but my associates and I trust that you will see the inevitability of individuals looking for ways around government regulations that interfere with their ability to choose for themselves what they put into their own bodies. Let’s be ready to meet the demand.
FamilySecurityMatters.org Contributing Editor Rita Kramer is an author and freelance writer. She has written for the New York Times Magazine, the , and numerous other publications in the U.S. and abroad. Her books include Maria Montessori: A Biography, In Defense of the Family: Raising Children in America Today, At ATender Age: Violent Youth and Juvenile Justice, and Ed School Follies:The Miseducation of America's Teachers.Wall Street Journal, Partisan Review, Commentary, City Journal
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