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December 12, 2009
Exclusive: Dingy Harry Mis-Reids the Situation
In the heady days of the Second Continental Congress, the country’s elected representatives debated the future of the United States with civility. Sure there were heated moments, and even an argument or two – legend has it that John Adams once poked Thomas Jefferson in the eye with his tri-cornered hat – but for the most part, class and decorum ruled the day. After all, there is nothing more important than matters of state.
Sadly, today’s politicians seem to have forgotten that little nugget of wisdom. Instead of working for the people, some knuckleheads inside the Beltway are working against them. One day, we see video of a congressman calling Tea Party attendees “terrorists.” The next day, we hear a senator comparing our armed forces to Nazis. Tomorrow, the vice-president will file criminal charges on anyone who thinks his hair plugs are not “slammin’.” In the 21st century, politics have gotten nastier than Barbara Boxer on a bad hair day, and the government health care debacle is bringing out the worst of some pretty bad people.
Take Sen. “Dingy” Harry Reid, for instance. Reid, a Democrat from Nevada elected in 1987, has spent the bulk of his two decades in Washington tearing down detractors and building a so-called train to nowhere from Disneyland to Vegas. (Actually, if it were a real train to nowhere, its route would lead from Las Vegas to Al Franken’s brain.) Sadly, Al Franken seems like Stephen Hawking compared to the Senate Majority Leader of late.
This week, Dingy Harry has ramped up his distaste for those who oppose government health care, and his vitriol has been heretofore unmatched. Despite the plummeting poll numbers for the health care overhaul, the Senate is trying to shove the legislation through like a Ring Ding through Michael Moore’s gullet. Popularity be damned, the liberals have an agenda to follow! If the American people are against it, well, they must be idiots – or worse. Not surprisingly, Senator Reid took the low road and launched another outrageous attack:
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid took his GOP-blasting rhetoric to a new level Monday, comparing Republicans who oppose health care reform to lawmakers who clung to the institution of slavery more than a century ago.
The Nevada Democrat, in a sweeping set of accusations on the Senate floor, also compared health care foes to those who opposed women’s suffrage and the civil rights movement – even though it was Sen. Strom Thurmond, then a Democrat, who unsuccessfully tried to filibuster the Civil Rights Act of 1957 and it was Republicans who led the charge against slavery.
Really, slavery? Why stop there, senator? Why not compare the voters who are against government health care to other evil people like fascists, communists, and Hannah Montana? The fact of the matter is that the Republican Party has been on the right side of almost every major civil rights issue this country has ever faced. The GOP is not the party that tried to stall the civil rights movement, and the GOP is not the party that should be compared to slavery proponents. Heck, considering that Sen. Robert Byrd of West Virginia – a former Exalted Cyclops in the Ku Klux Klan – recently held leadership positions in Democrat committees, Dingy Harry would be wise to never again mention the word “slavery.”
One has to wonder if it ever occurred to Sen. Reid that maybe, just maybe, some Americans are against the hostile health care takeover because it is going to cost 849 cotillion bajillion dollars? Okay, that inflated number was after the undercarriage protection. After carrying the one and adjusting for cost of living allowances, it will only cost $849 million. Still, that figure is so steep that Bill Gates would have to access his ATM before purchasing the plan for his very own. Most Americans do not have the wad o’ cash that Mr. Gates possesses, so they are asking the question, “Who is paying for this monstrosity?” Simply put, we are, and that is why the country is so adamantly opposed to this financial equivalent of Camryn Manheim is a string bikini.
Nonplussed, senators like Harry Reid will continue to demean and belittle the plan’s opposition. Not to worry, though, because politicians of Reid’s ilk would compare pro-life groups to Pol Pot, small government proponents to Joseph Stalin, and anti-global warming folks to Mrs. O’Leary’s cow. It’s madness, but don’t take it personally; politicians can’t help themselves. Besides, as long as Sen. Reid keeps pulling strategies from the liberal playbook, the chances are better that his political career will not last the 2010 midterm elections.
There is a popular advertising catch phrase that reads, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” Considering the irreparable damage Harry Reid has done to this country, what happened in Vegas in 1987 should have stayed there.
FamilySecurityMatters.org's official satirist, Shawn Goodwin, is a blogger and police detective from Philly. You can visit his blog here.
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